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when i am king you will be fast against the wall

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here's to the night

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(1 raindrop | just a drop in the pond)

A change [27 May 2007|11:18pm]
So, I've started a new journal specifically for updating about my summer and fall semester. If you didn't catch it before, I'll be spending the summer at Pinewoods, a folk music and dance camp in Plymouth, Massachusetts, and I'll be abroad in the fall in Stockholm. The new journal is here: flyinghambo

Check it out! And friend me, if you'd like to stay in touch, or if you just want to hear a lot about dancing and Sweden.

(1 raindrop | just a drop in the pond)

To add to the alumni antics... [27 May 2007|10:50pm]
[ mood | ecstatic/melancholy ]

1) When I walked into South (where I'm working) at 8 this morning, the whole lounge was littered with beer bottles and cans, and all of the couch cushions had been thrown in the center of the room. Apparently the class of '97 was couch diving until 5AM.

2) I just saw a dude wearing a shirt that said "Fairchild" on the front, and "Cooperate or Die" on the back. Obviously FKID has undergone an image change over the years.

T-minus 65 minutes until my shift is over; 36 hours until I leave Oberlin.

(1 raindrop | just a drop in the pond)

[26 May 2007|09:23am]
Commencement week induces a slightly strange state of being. It's an awkward inbetween phase of being done with school (the largest thing that Oberlin represents for me) but not quite gone for the summer + fall. Still living in my room is weird; I feel like I should be somewhere else with every last one of my belongings in boxes.

But on the other hand, seeing all the alums around gives me a pretty interesting/frightening glimpse into what we'll all be like in 15 years. Still Obies, generally, only with kids and jobs etc.

Stories of the South Hall Bell Desk on a Saturday morning:

*First of all, the stairs to the building were totally littered by beer bottles, so I sort of expected that there wouldn't be much activity in the morning.
*Upon rushing into the building at 8:05 AM, I was greeted by a man in nothing but grey boxer shorts who had been locked out of his room.
*On the stairs to the third floor, I came upon two empty cans of whipped cream. I have no idea what purpose they served in last night's debauchery.
*I brought Benedict Anderson's "Imagined Communities" to read at the desk. A woman, presumably from the class of '97 and wearing a t-shirt that said "Lesbians for a Better America" noticed, said "That's a great book," and started an (unfortunately) brief conversation about nationalism.
*Somewhat relatedly, most of the people staying here think I'm an alum and are quite surprised to find out I'm a student.

T-minus 3 days until I take off for Boston and summer (eek!)

(just a drop in the pond)

[23 May 2007|10:16am]
So, it turns out that drinking a rum and coke while talking to my parents on the phone is actually a good idea.

Also, seeing Spiderman 3 made me want to write a paper on comic book superheroes from an anti-nationalist feminist perspective (analyzing it was the only way I could sit through the whole thing).

(5 raindrops | just a drop in the pond)

[22 May 2007|11:08am]
As of last Thursday, I officially finished my sophmore year at Oberlin College. It was amazing, but it kicked my ass. In total, I ended up turning in 55 pages of written work, 29 revised and 26 new. I'm actually really proud of myself, considering how hard it's been for me to just sit down and write a paper, no matter how well I know the material.

Took off on Saturday for Lake Logan and the Mayapple Stomp, which was really lovely, partly just because I got to get out of Oberlin and see another part of Ohio that was extremely beautiful. The dancing was good as well, got to call some and hear Corey and Jonah play with Changeling (fantastic, by the way). Danced until 2 when everyone crashed, slept 5 hours on the floor, then had a long breakfast outside looking out on the lake.

Now all I really have to do is my sweet job working for the man (read: ResEd) for a week, pack everything still left in my room, and take off for even more dancing.

p.s. I feel so pathetic - I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself without schoolwork or packing to take care of. Book or movie recommendations?

(2 raindrops | just a drop in the pond)

[17 May 2007|01:15am]
[ mood | awake ]

I've been in the library for six hours, and I was just visited by the beer fairy. I'm a real college student, now.

p.s. 3 down, 1 to go. Thank god for tea and Clif bars.

(4 raindrops | just a drop in the pond)

[15 May 2007|10:55am]
[ mood | fucking insane ]

Man, sleep would have been a good idea. More of it, anyway.

I have zero motivation to make my portfolio any better. Maybe I'll revise my story a little, but everything else is just going to be fine the way it is.

I also can't believe I still have two papers to write. I'll just dream of Thursday night, when I can go to bed at 11 and sleep 12 hours.

(just a drop in the pond)

[14 May 2007|01:09am]
Also, my head is extremely fuzzy and a little mottled.

Also, why is Kris Delmhorst so sexy?

(just a drop in the pond)

Lists [13 May 2007|10:24pm]
[ mood | excited ]

In the past few days, I have figured out:

-how I'm getting to Boston
-that I can actually go to the Mayapple Stomp
-how I'm getting to Plymouth
-where I can stay in Boston
-that the night before I go to Pinewoods will be ridiculously awesome (Lisa Greenleaf AND Great Bear Trio!!!)
-what I'm writing my insane GAWS paper on

By Thursday night, I have to:

-write my GAWS 239 paper
-write my history paper
-write my GAWS 100 paper
-revise my portfolio
-talk to the bank
-pack shit to give to Jeffrey
-pack shit to go into college storage
-buy a ticket home from Boston

Before June 1st, I will:

-finish my sophmore year of college
-pack every last one of my stupid belongings in something to go somewhere
-dance all night, and hopefully call some
-make 300 bucks sitting on my ass
-spend lots of time with amazing, wonderful, lovely people
-say goodbye to said people
-take full advantage of commencement week (if you know what I mean...)
-drive halfway across the country
-dance some more
-take a train to Plymouth, where I will spend a quality summer in the woods.

(1 raindrop | just a drop in the pond)

[11 May 2007|12:24am]
[ mood | content ]

The weather has been amazing. I've been in such a good mood lately, despite the fact that if I don't start working on finals now, I'm going to be fucked.

I love my advisor, a little bit. It's always a good day when your advisor turns into your therapist and starts helping you plot how to convince your parents that GAWS is a legitimate major. Though I have mixed feelings about her teaching style, I really do get along with her.

And fuck, I forgot to send a Mother's Day card today. Oh well. Belated Mother's Day it is. Also, what do you write in a Mother's Day card when your mother is the source of most of your angst and frustration?

I should be working on my story revision to give to Ramona, but all I want to do is sleep, so I think I'll do that.

(1 raindrop | just a drop in the pond)

[29 Apr 2007|10:51pm]
Arrgh, this is a perfectly good hour in which I could do homework undisturbed, seeing as both the 150 and 151 labs were really easy this week and all the students have left already. But all I want to do is mess around on the internet and listen to lastfm. I've had so little motivation this week to do anything at all, and I was hoping it was just PMS, and it probably is, but it should damned well be over by now.

On the other hand, though, maybe this is just my body and psyche telling me that it's finally time to take a fucking break and actually take care of myself for once, which would make sense. So I should not see my few nights getting 10 hours of sleep, watching 3 Doctor Who episodes and playing a lot of Solitaire and laying out in the sun in the past week as bad things, but as good and much needed activities. Though I have to say, I had better get an injection of intellectual energy before finals, or I might just be sunk.

(7 raindrops | just a drop in the pond)

this is how much I hate reading notes [26 Apr 2007|12:33am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Ugh. 12:30 and I still have to comment on 7 long poems. I have nothing to say and will have even less to say once 1AM rolls around. Still hormonal, but going through the insanely affectionate phase of my cycle, which is just annoying since I have no one to pounce on and make out with. I'll probably be viciously angry tomorrow...watch out.

Things To Do That Are Not Schoolwork:

-call parents/email brother
-divide my stuff between storage, Pinewoods and Stockholm
-send off visa application
-figure out how I'm getting to Boston
-figure out whose floor I'm sleeping on in Boston area May 28-31
-figure out how I'm going to buy a plane ticket to Arlanda
-learn how to say more cool words in Swedish. Jarnvagsstationen (sp?) isn't going to get me very far.

Unfortunately, work takes precedence over almost all of those things. Blargh. I wonder if Carol Tufts would notice if I just wrote the word "waffle" over and over again in lieu of actual reading notes.

(1 raindrop | just a drop in the pond)

[25 Apr 2007|12:40am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

So...I've been feeling pretty incompetant and depressed lately, which is probably just hormones, but still. I broke down a little bit tonight, recovered, then went and practiced for an hour.

When I came back, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and while sitting on the john I had a realization: my life will probably never be as good as it is right now. I don't say that to be even more depressing than I already am, just to point out that things are actually pretty great. I will probably never live in such close proximity to so many people I am so in love with, have such a great support system, or so many opportunities to succeed (and to crash and burn).

/mood swing

I am such a fucking emotional mess. Fuck you, estrogen.

(just a drop in the pond)

on the subject of not doing enough [19 Apr 2007|04:44pm]
[ mood | excited ]

There have been three lectures in the past two days that I wanted to go to but bailed on because I had so much work and just couldn't bring myself to get up and think about things. Mark Twain (I think?) said to never let your studies get in the way of your education, but what about not letting your education get in the way of your mental health? Eh. Sometimes I want more than anything to be an activist, but I think I'm too lazy to ever accomplish anything remarkable.

In other news, paper is finished (although it is crappy crap crap - roommate and I came upon the discovery last night that if I could substitute major drag performances for all my papers, I would) and the only thing standing between me and the Romp is my lesson tomorrow morning. Finally. I'm a little worried about the fact that I actually have responsibility for a (somewhat small) part of the event, but I do know that it will somehow be fine. Feeding 10 people for 3 days isn't that hard, right?

Also, due to the blue skies and ridiculously good food at lunch today, I am on the edge of my trademark "everything is sooooo beautiful" life-drug fest, which will be exacerbated by dancing. So, if you see me, just go along with it and be glad that I'm happy.

Cooking with Giusti tonight, then lesson, then chilling/everything I've forgotten about/foraging for food, then making dinner, then eating, then dancing FOREVER. I don't care how much reading I have to do for Amy Brandzel, or the fact that there's only 3 weeks left of school and I have to turn in 56 pages of writing in 4 weeks. Starting tomorrow, I'm planning on immersing myself in things and people that make me happy, and not dealing with the consequences until Sunday night.

(just a drop in the pond)

[18 Apr 2007|01:54pm]
umm...Amy Brandzel just told me she liked my hair...


I also look really dykey today. I did yesterday, too...making up for all weekend when I'll be wearing skirts.

(2 raindrops | just a drop in the pond)

exciting events of yesterday [14 Apr 2007|11:20am]
[ mood | stupid finger ]

Something about sunny weather just makes me want to dress really femmy, so I wore a skirt. No one asked me why I was dressed up, which was a plus.

Decided to do pizza crew instead of practicing (stupidstupidstupid), and ended up cutting my finger open really badly. It was a really surreal experience. I knocked this jar off of a shelf and tried to put out my hand to catch it, but it was broken before I got there. All of a sudden I was bleeding and swearing. Luckily I didn't pass out, and do not need stitches, but I can't really use my fifth finger on my right hand for anything, including, unfortunately, playing piano. Currently debating whether to write an email telling my teacher or whether to assume it will get better in time for me to sufficiently practice for my lesson on Friday.

Contra dance with Lissa Schneckenberger Trio, which was awesome. Except for the dance during which I bled through my bandage.

I was a sketchy sketchy sketchball and flirted mercilessly with a prospie (who, for the record, was totally into me). Nothing came of it, which was probably a good thing. She was real cute, though.

Got "hydrated" with Amir, something I seriously needed.

Amazingly, I don't have all that much work this weekend. Perhaps I'll actually decompress...or clean my room.

(4 raindrops | just a drop in the pond)

Kinging it [08 Apr 2007|10:57am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Last year, after Drag Ball, which was my first experience in full drag, I remember writing here about how you can't know yourself completely until you've been in drag. I still stand by that completely. But, as I found out last night, even better than just putting on a suit, ace bandage and sock is performing in drag. For that 3 minutes of your life, everyone is looking at you; everyone wants you. You are a fucking rockstar. And that is really one of the most liberating feelings in the world.

Now, pictures have been promised, and pictures will be had. Presenting Emma Anderson/Lance Mandible: A TransformationCollapse )

There will be many more pictures on Facebook as soon as I upload the ones from my camera.

Now to write a 5-page paper on performing the American identity. Fuck you, reality.

(2 raindrops | just a drop in the pond)

this is how I feel today: [06 Apr 2007|12:28am]
[ mood | awake ]

you fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

--Margaret Atwood

Woke up this morning to find that I had my period. Eight days early. For absolutely no reason. And lately I've been getting really bitter and angry at everything (also for no reason) on the first day of my period, so when we read the above poem in Creative Writing today, it was a little bit wonderful. I even did a dramatic reading in class which received applause, possibly because it was so frightening.

BUT...then I watched "Smith and Jones" and everything was better because it was totally and completely amazing. Martha Jones is a hottie. I still feel pretty loyal to Rose, but I might end up liking Martha better.

Other things that improved my hormonal-anger-filled life were getting my Pinewoods contract in the mail (I'm now officially working June 1-August 12!), and having rehearsal for 69 Degrees (in which we reblocked everything in our act because, contrary to popular belief, a runway is not a stage.) If you are in Oberlin, you should really come to Drag Ball, just to see me (and 4 other people, 3 of whom are 5 feet tall) as a boy band member in drag. 11:17 PM. Wilder Main. Be there. And if you're not in Oberlin, there will be pictures. Somehow.


Speaking of code...the CS department recently got down on its knees and begged me to come back. Well...actually they just asked me if they could pay me money to sit in the lab on Sunday nights and answer questions. When I protested that I hadn't taken computer science in 10 months, the professor who's hiring me said that good old JD (my last CS professor) had highly recommended me. Who knew? So now I have three jobs. Remind me to stop doing things.

(2 raindrops | just a drop in the pond)

[04 Apr 2007|11:50am]
[ mood | shaky ]

Another fantastic quote was uttered by my piano teacher today:

"Chords have three parts: the head, the legs, the stomach. You don't want the stomach to be protruding, unless there's some sort of baby in there."

This is right up there with "Is not like cow dropping!" Also, this is the last time I ever drink two cups of black tea before my lesson. Bad, bad idea.

In other news, this Saturday, I will be performing on stage in the drag boy band "69 Degrees." I think I'll chalk that one up to a win...seeing as I get to grab my imaginary crotch at the audience. (Alan, I'm trying to remember to lead with my penis, but it's so hard to dance without using my womanly hips!)

(5 raindrops | just a drop in the pond)

Two more things: [27 Mar 2007|04:06pm]
1) I'd like to make a plug for A Woman's Touch - they gave me free chocolate and free lube when I bought my 10-dollar blue sparkly vibrator. It was good chocolate, too.

2) I had a surprise pap-smear today at the doctors. Really easy. I just kept thinking about Zoe's description of down-there exams as "essentially paying someone to finger you." The doctor's comment when she was doing it was just "Wow, you're a pro at this already." A pro at getting fingered? I stopped myself from responding with something snarky. For the record, she never actually asked if I was sexually active, only if I needed birth control. To which I responded, "No, I think I've got that one under control."

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